A Lovely Little Distraction
by aslycsi1315
Summary: Over the course of a summer, teammates Morgan, Prentiss, Garcia, and JJ, begin to use iM as a way to deal with the stress of the work. However, they run into problems when Hotch believes it to be a distraction…..
1. Chapter 1

_May 25, 2011- Chat Room #21345- Quantico, Virginia- started at 2:54:56 pm ET_

_Currently Logged in: _

_Spencer Reid-SR_

_Emily Prentiss-EP_

_Derek Morgan-DM_

_Penelope Garcia-PG_

SR: that's why dogs react violently sometimes during a meeting with a stranger- ooh, even a possible UnSub  
>JJ: ... (snoring)<br>SR: JJ, that's mean!  
>DM: Kid, I just logged in and you were boring me to death.<p>

Spencer Reid has signed off

EP: Wuss.  
>DM: he'll get over it...wait, what's with you? Wrong side of the bed?<br>EP: Don't make me shoot you, Derek. I got no sleep with my crazy neighbor downstairs. All bloody night….  
>PG: ooooh, is he the gorgeous one?<br>EP: gorgeous as ever! =]  
>PG: I just remembered why I was on here-guys, you need to be careful with IM. Hotch knows that we do this during work hours and he's pissed.<br>DM: Baby girl, this is just a way for us to let off some steam. What is he going to do-spy on us?

Guest has logged in

Guest: This is your boss. Get off of IM. Now.  
>EP: Oh, crap!<p>

Emily Prentiss has signed off

JJ: heyyyyy...Hotch  
>DM: Penelope! Did you rat us out?<br>PG: I had no choice! He walked in on me iMing yesterday! I tried to warn you guys!  
>Guest: Conference room. All of you. Now.<p>

_Session started at 4:34:54pm ET_

_Currently Logged in:_

_Jennifer Jareau_

_Spencer Reid_

_Derek Morgan_

JJ: I don't think I've ever seen him that pissed.  
>SR: you guys are still doing this?<br>DM: of course, kid.  
>SR: how are you doing this?<br>JJ: You're a genius. Figure it out. 

DM: didn't you think it was a little weird that JJ and I both went to the bathroom at the same time? How are YOU doing this?  
>SR: unlike the rest of you, I haven't lost computer rights.<br>DM: Say that to my face when we get back to the conference room.  
>SR: Hey, I didn't get banished to the conference room and lose computer rights!<p>

DM: Still don't get how he can take our computers away. We aren't in high school

JJ: Reid, we do this as a way of a break from all the dark stuff we see during our jobs. Please don't tell Hotch.

SR: I won't, but Hotch is suspicious of where you two are  
>DM: Crap, I'm-<br>DM: Spencer Reid, your ass is mine! :(

Derek Morgan has signed off

JJ: Reid, did you tattle on Morgan to Hotch?  
>SR: ...yes.<br>JJ: well, don't-

JJ: Rossi's standing outside my stall door. Spence, you are so dead. 

_May 26,2011- 2:39:17 am ET-Washington, D.C_

_Currently logged in:_

_Emily Prentiss_

_Derek Morgan_

_Jennifer Jareau  
><span>_

EP: all those in the "let's kill Spencer Reid" club that are present, please say "aye".  
>DM: aye<br>JJ: not present  
>EP: JJ!<br>JJ: what? It's 2:39 in the morning!

Penelope Garcia has signed on

PG: I found a way of redemption! You're never going to believe what I found on Hotch  
>EP: It better be earth shattering…destructive…..the best blackmail ever….<br>DM: baby girl, watcha get? 

PG: Hotch is on Facebook  
>JJ: it's not really redemption if you make up one, Penn.<br>PG: I didn't make it- I found it official. There is even a picture of him in a Superman costume with Jack from last Halloween!  
>JJ: that liar! He said he wasn't going to do anything<br>DM: Superman. I'm never going to let him live that down

Spencer Reid has signed on

David Rossi has signed on

DR: hey  
>PG: welcome to the 21st century, sir!<br>DM: curiosity got the best of you, Rossi?  
>DR: ...yes<br>DR: Penelope did you hack Aaron's computer?  
>PG: no sir, I mean within reason, sir... I mean no, sir<br>DR: which is it? 

JJ: I'm tired and I want to go to bed!are we doing revenge on Spence or what?  
>SR: what?<br>EP: sorry, dude. You earned it. I say we do revenge on Hotch instead.  
>JJ: yeah!<br>DM: I'm in  
>DR: might as well<br>DM: I must say, I never knew you had it in you, Rossi  
>DR: yesterday, Hotch criticized me for creating this account. He said as I quote, "It would be instigating the others to continue iMing each other like twelve year olds during work hours."<p>

PG: He DIDN'T

DR: The man's words, not mine  
>JJ: alright, so what do we do?<br>DM: Reid, if you so much as say a word to Hotch...  
>SR: you won't be able to finish that sentence? <p>

DM: sleep with one eye open, kid.  
>JJ: Guys, focus!<br>PG: I have an idea, but its evil...  
>EP: Evil- ha-ha or evil- you are so fired?<br>PG: a little bit of both  
>EP: Excellent<p>

_May 26,2011- 12:21:34pm ET-Quantico, Virginia_

_Currently Logged in:_

_Penelope Garcia_

_Emily Prentiss_

_Jennifer Jareau_

_Derek Morgan_

__PG: so spa at six on Friday?  
>EP: Yep<br>JJ: yep  
>DM: hey! No girl talk on IM!<p>

Guest has signed in

Guest: which one of you poked me 1,689 times, sent me 278 messages saying," hi" and posted a scribbled photo of me on Facebook?

EP: Hotch?

DM: Hello to you, too, man

Guest: Answer the question

JJ: How and why do you keep coming into our chat room on iM?

Guest: Unless you all want to be buried in paperwork, I advise someone to fess up  
>JJ: please don't kill us<br>EP: if you want to blame us, please don't. 

DM: I plead the fifth  
>PG: Casper the friendly ghost did it.<br>JJ: we aren't on here all the time, Hotch  
>JJ: except for Emily and Derek<br>JJ: =] 

DM: JJ, you're on my hit list  
>JJ: love you, too.<br>DM: So what did you do for Halloween with Jack, Hotch?=]  
>Guest: What part of no iMing are you three not getting?<p>

DM: Not sure…..

Guest: Do you want to make the conference room punishment three months?

DM: Still pleading the fifth

PG: It was me.

Guest: No more of this. Do you all understand?

PG: Yes, sir

DM: Yes

EP: Yep

JJ: Yes, sir

Guest: Good

_May 27,2011- 9:45:32pm ET- Quantico, Virginia_  
><em><span>Currently Logged in:<span>_

_Derek Morgan_

_Spencer Reid_

_Jennifer Jareau_

_Emily Prentiss_

_Penelope Garcia_

DM: Finally, the weekend!  
>SR: you guys are still iMing?<br>JJ: I have no idea of what you speak of

SR: Hotch told you guys no iMing

EP: He did and we…..sort of listened.

EP: How can you nag if you're doing the same thing?  
>PG: Woohooo! Party in the conference room!<br>JJ: Random, Penelope. Really random 

EP: are you ok, Penn?  
>PG: I'm so bored!- so yeah, let's do it!<br>SR: you do know that the Hotch is down the hall, right?  
>PG: Hey, we're all off of work now-let's do it! If our fearless leader would like to join us, he may<br>DM: I highly doubt Hotch would join us for a- what's the theme?  
>PG: A fiesta!<br>EP: oh yeah, Hotch isn't coming.

David Rossi has signed on

DR: A fiesta? I'm in.  
>PH: Sir, I like this side of you! You've been so rebellious!<br>DR: I've always been a little rebellious...  
>JJ: kind of felt like that was filled with sex...<br>EP: Me too... 

DM: was not! What's with you two?  
>EP: my horny downstairs neighbor<br>JJ: we need to check him out  
>JJ: This weekend!<br>DM: hey, I said no girl talk on iM!  
>EP: jealous?<br>DM: Nope...  
>JJ: Liar... <p>

PG: Party in 15 minutes!  
>EP: Do you want us to order food?<br>SR: Are we allowed to have parties in the conference room?  
>EP: if you are awesome like we are, then yes. <p>

Guest has logged in

Guest: Why haven't any of you left?

DM: Crap!Do you stalk the chat boxes looking for us?

DR: Why haven't you left?

Guest: Paperwork  
>PG: So are we.<p>

EP: Yes, we are group thinking on a case as we speak. While using iM

Guest: What's the case?

JJ:…

DM: It's about a team of profilers who's had a rough week and wants to order pizza right now?

Guest: Go home, all of you.

Guest has logged out

EP: Bar?

EP: Dinner?

EP: Really don't want to go home to an empty apartment

DM: Bar. Who's in?

SR: We should get some rest

DM: I'll take that as a no

PG: Yeah! We can plan our revenge on the unsuspecting Spencer Reid…..

Penelope Garcia has logged out

Penelope Garcia has logged back in

JJ: Miss us that much, Penn?

PG: We have a case. An actual one in Waukegan, Illinois. Conference room in 25.

JJ: awww…..

PG: I know. No party….


	2. Chapter 2

_June 1, 2011- 11:46:23pm CT- Waukegan, Illinois  
><span>__Currently logged in:_

_Jennifer Jareau_

_Emily Prentiss_

_Penelope Garcia_

PG: How's Waukegan?

EP: It's so pretty and fun with all the dead bodies we keep finding all over the city

PG: Hey, I did not ask for a sarcastic answer missy

JJ: She's just tired

JJ: And mad at the boys

PG: Aww, what did they do?

EP: Morgan and in his inability to follow directions got us stuck at a gas station with a flat tire for an hour with no AC

PG: My darling knight….

EP: Kick his ass for me, please

JJ: I'm sure it wasn't that bad

PG: Have you ever been stuck in an enclosed space with Reid for more than five minutes?

EP: Have you ever tried to explain to Morgan that something is WRONG when the car goes pop?

EP: Men…..

PG: How's the iM ban going?

JJ: D you mean the "iM and don't get caught" ban? Excellent

EP: We haven't been caught this entire trip

JJ: Not exactly

PG: What?

EP: Jay?

JJ:…

PG: JJ?

JJ: Hotch just knocked on my door to ask if I was iMing. It's like he has a sixth sense about it

EP: But we're in our hotel rooms!

JJ: When we're supposed to be resting for the case. Night ladies….

_June 2,2011- 2:52pm CT- O Hare Airport, Chicago, IL_

_Currently Logged in: _

_Jennifer Jareau_

_David Rossi_

_Emily Prentiss_

EP: Whatcha doing?

JJ: Waiting for you guys to get to the airport. Where are you guys?

EP: Don't worry. We're coming, we're coming

DR: Overslept?

EP: Don't even go there. We left the hotel at the same time as you guys did

DR: Yet, we beat you by an hour

Aaron Hotchner has logged in

EP: Never thought I'd see the day when you'd get an actual iM account

DR: Welcome to the club. What happened to "getting an account instigates the rest of the team to iM like 12 year olds?"

AH: I got bored while waiting for the Three Musketeers to get here! It's easier to have one so I can chase the rest of you off while at work. Prentiss, where are you, Reid, and Morgan?

EP: Coming. We swear. Welcome to iM!

JJ: Rossi, did you want an extra shot of espresso?

AH: Why don't you just call or walk the thirty feet over here and ask him?

JJ: Cause there's no fun in that….

_June 2, 2011- 4:45:23pm CT- O'Hare Airport, Chicago IL  
><span>__Currently Logged in:_

_Emily Prentiss_

_Jennifer Jareau_

_David Rossi_

_Penelope Garcia_

_Aaron Hotchner_

JJ: Seriously, where are you guys?  
>EP: we're lost<br>DR: how are you lost?  
>EP: Morgan doesn't like directions. Didn't you know that?<br>AH: I'm never allowing the three of you to drive by yourselves ever again  
>EP: Um...guys, we just passed a sign that said Davenport- 20 miles<br>AH: That's in...Iowa  
>AH: How the hell did you guys end up on the other side of the state?<br>PG: this has made my day

EP: According to Reid- 180 miles from Waukegan  
>DR: That's gotta be a record for Morgan. Still chasing us off of iM, Aaron?<br>AH: I'll deal with you later  
>DR: Challenge accepted.<p>

Derek Morgan has signed on

AH: Who's driving?  
>DM: Reid is. They pulled a coup on me<br>DM: Sorry, Hotch... 

DR: Ever heard of a GPS?  
>EP: Or a map?<br>EP: Ow!  
>EP: He just hit me!<br>AH: I don't care. I would like to go home so just hurry up  
>DM: That kid better pick up the speed or we'll never get home<br>DR: Should have thought of that before you decided to yourself lost

_6:25:45pm CT- O Hare Airport, Chicago IL_

_Currently Logged in:_

_Jennifer Jareau_

_Aaron Hotchner_

_Emily Prentiss_

JJ: Seriously, guys; do we have to come and get you?  
>EP: Reid is using the "slow and steady wins the race" method<br>AH: Here's an incentive- the jet leaves in 1 hour  
>JJ: Hotch, that's a little mean...<br>AH: My son is sick and I would like to GO HOME!  
>AH: My threat still stands <p>

_7:27:21pm CT- O Hare Airport, Chicago IL_

_Currently Logged in:_

_Emily Prentiss_

_Penelope Garcia_

_David Rossi_

_Derek Morgan_

_Aaron Hotchner_

_Jennifer Jareau  
><span>_

EP: Where' the plane?

EP: You guys seriously left us?  
>PG: That doesn't like them….<br>DR: jet took off twenty minutes ago  
>DM: You're kidding, right? <p>

DR: Nope  
>DM: Seriously?<br>AH: Do you really think I would just leave you guys like that?  
>EP: I think my heart almost stopped<br>EP: I've never seen Reid so pale 

DM: Where's the jet?  
>AH: Other side of the hanger<br>DM: Which hanger?do you not realize how big O Hare is?  
>JJ: Jeez, look left!<br>EP: You guys aren't even on the jet?  
>AH: We are ten feet away and you're still iMing us?<p>

JJ: Hey, I'm sitting next to you and you're still iMing

EP: Thanks, JJ! Addicting, isn't it, Hotch?

AH: No comment.

_July 6,2011- 1:23:45am ET- Quantico, Virginia_

_Currently Logged in_

_Penelope Garcia_

_Spencer Reid_

_Jennifer Jareau_

PG: not awake...out of all the times for a serial killer in Washington it has to be now...  
>SR: We have a case?<br>PG: I just sent it to Hotch

JJ: I didn't even have to guess that you'd all be on here.

SR: How?

JJ: The text that said 'might have a case. Check iM' from Penelope

PG: Hey, it's efficient. We're on without me making 200 phone calls

JJ: Well, I may have to sit this one out. I'm really sick.

PG: I'm sorry. I spoke to Hotch and Rossi and they didn't sound so hot either

Derek Morgan has signed on

Emily Prentiss has signed on

SR: How did you know to come on right now?

PG: Me, my silly little genius

EP: We shouldn't even call each other anymore. Just iM!

DM: Are you their new spokesperson?

EP: You're so lucky I'm not there to shoot you. I feel like death! Do we actually have another case?  
>DM: So JJ, me, Emily, Hotch, and Rossi are sick. Sick day?<p>

EP: Not bloody likely

David Rossi has signed on

Aaron Hotchner has signed on

DR: Are you calling it because you are actually sick or because you want the day off?  
>EP: Do you want to come over and feel my forehead?<br>SR: How did you two know to come on?

PG: Why do you keep asking that question?

AH: I told Dave to come on. Send the case to the B squad. JJ, I spoke to, but Prentiss and Morgan, are you actually sick?

EP: Why does no one trust us? Yes, I am sick

DM:…..  
>EP: Derek?<br>SR: We still have to come in, right?  
>EP: Hotch calls a sick day for the first time in 6 years and you are questioning it? Do you enjoy paperwork?<br>SR: I actually find it quite comforting. So do we have work?

AH:... 

SR: Hotch?  
>EP: what is it with people jumping ship today?<br>PG: Yeah, we get today off!  
>SR: he never said that!<br>PG: he implied it!  
>SR: did not!<br>PG: Don't make me come over there.

JJ: I'm gonna vomit- I'll be back

EP: At least she warned us….

AH: I'm back- Jessica had to pick up Jack and yes- whether you are sick or not, no work today

DR: well, I'll be damned  
>EP: I think it's the fever talking<br>AH: I'm not showing up to Washington with five sick agents  
>DM: Uggghh...<br>PG: Baby boo, you scared me half to death. What happened?  
>DM: Threw up all OVER my bed<br>EP: EWwwwww...  
>DM: And you haven't thrown up?<br>EP: Not on my bed  
>DR: I'm just going to lay in my bed all day and sleep<p>

JJ: Thanks for the heads up?

PG: Free day! Double celebration!  
>AH: A sick day, Penelope<br>PG: Of course, sir. I'll probably get sick after this anyway... 

JJ: Can someone please explain to me how Derek, Emily, and Spence got lost?  
>DM: Hey, I followed the directions! I think I missed an exit near Chicago<br>DR: You THINK?  
>AH: How far did you go before you realized that you were lost?<br>EP: I picked up that we were lost about 20 minutes after the supposed 60 minute trip. Morgan didn't want to hear it and Reid just backed him up  
>DM: I did not! !Wait, when you said you'll never let the three of us drive again: if Reid, Emily, and I were the only ones not sick, would you have passed the case?<p>

AH: Yes  
>AH: I can just imagine myself getting a phone call that a case came in and you all ended up in Mexico somehow.<p>

EP: I wouldn't say Mexico, persay…


	3. Chapter 3

July 7,2011- 9:34:56am- Quantico, Virginia

_Currently Logged in:_

_Jennifer Jareau_

_Penelope Garcia_

_David Rossi_

JJ: Nothing sucks more than the day after a sick day  
>PG: My dear, I have a super blend of tea that'll knock the illness right out of you.<br>JJ: You couldn't have mentioned this yesterday?  
>DR: My office, you two- its urgent<br>JJ: Life or death?

DR: Just get here

10:35:45am  
><span>JJ: Urgent on this team means life threatening, not a simple case review!  
>DR: when has a case review ever been simple?<p>

DR: Well, we missed yesterday so we're a little behind. It's go time today

JJ: Is this really you or some kind of prank?

DR: Nope, it's me- the real deal

JJ: So arrogant

Emily Prentiss has logged on

Derek Morgan has logged on

DR: Do you two purposely come on at the same time?

EP: Hello to you too

DM: One sick day was fun, but two?- Hotch must really be sick…

DM: How's work going, JJ?

JJ: Grrr…..

DR: You guys, Reid, and Hotch are missed

EP: Is Rossi being productive?

JJ: Yes, he is. It's kind of weird

DR: Let's get to work, you guys.

JJ: Aww, just because you're in charge today doesn't mean you have to be no fun

DR: Yes, it does  
>DR: Would you have done this if Hotch were here?<br>JJ: Yes

JJ: No

EP: I would have

DR: iM junkie

EP: I wonder how Reid's doing

EP: Sucks he got sick the day after everyone else….

DM: 5 bucks says he's watching Star Trek and reviewing the dictionary for the six millionth time

EP: That isn't a fair bet! There's a 99 percent chance that he's doing that right now

EP: Cheater 

July 8,2011- 9:35:42am ET- Quantico, Virginia

PG: Woohoo!Everyone is back at work. No one is sick….  
>JJ: We missed you too, Penn<br>PG: Don't ever leave! It was so boring here

Emily Prentiss has logged on

EP: Ugghh, I want to go back home

PG: Still sick?

EP: No, I just enjoyed lying around all day. It was fun

PG: How's the conference room banishment going?

EP: Reid is watching me over his shoulder like a little patrol boy…

11:41:24am

DM: I bring this emergency meeting to session  
>EP: Ok! What's with the email?- a team building trip?<br>JJ: no idea, but I don't want to go  
>DM: I think it'd be fun <p>

EP: It's cause you're a guy  
>JJ: I hate the woods<br>EP: We worked a case in the woods with a cannibal last month. How are we supposed to go back there?  
>JJ: I reaaalllyy hate the woods...<p>

David Rossi has signed on

DR: how is this an emergency meeting if half the team's not here?  
>DM: That's the meaning of an emergency meeting. We couldn't get everyone here<br>DR: I'm less than 10 feet away from you, Emily- Reid's inches away!  
>EP: Reid's getting his 400th cup of coffee for the day<br>JJ: Guys, I really really hate the woods...  
>EP: We know!<br>DR: Guess, you guys got the email... 

EP:I personally don't want to get eaten this weekend...

JJ: That's not a part of my contract  
>DR: We work in the woods all the time!<br>EP: To work, not sleep!  
>DM: Afraid you're gonna get eaten? <p>

EP: Watch, we'll be running and screaming down a hill from a cannibal and I'll say I told you so!  
>DM: Fine. We'll see who's right!<br>JJ: We can bring our weapons, right? 

Aaron Hotchner has signed on

Penelope Garcia has signed on

Spencer Reid has signed on 

DR: Gangs all here!  
>DM: And you all knew to come at the exact same time because...<br>PG: Stalking  
>SR: Emily told me<br>AH: Because Prentiss is giggling at her computer like an idiot

AH: I said no IM

PG: This is an emergency!  
>DM: You worked in the FBI and the CIA, Prentiss, yet you give away that we're on iM by GIGGLING?<br>JJ: What about Morgan and I? How did you know that we were on here?  
>AH: Boss' intuition<p>

AH: You ALL are going on this trip this weekend. The Director required it for all squads in the Bureau. This weekend it's us and the A squads from Counter Terrorism and money fraud.  
>DR: Is it me or does that sound like an iM, Aaron?<p>

DR: I think I felt a glare from you travel through the wall.

DR: BAU, CT, and Money Fraud? That's a random mix...  
>AH: It'll be at Western Thames Park <p>

EP: Where the cannibal was?  
>JJ: No!<br>SR: Excellent...  
>PG: Seriously, Reid?<br>SR: adds a bit of adventure to the mix  
>AH: There is nothing to be concerned of- we got the Unsub<br>DM: I'll protect you, Emily  
>EP: before or after we go running and screaming down the hill with a cannibal running after us with a knife?<br>JJ: Hey, I need protection!  
>SR: I'll do it<br>JJ: Thanks, Spence 

July 12, 2011- Western Thames Park- Alexandria, Virginia-9:13:23pm

EP: And that's when he asked me out!  
>DM: So he just randomly asked you out?<br>EP: Is there any particular reason that you are invading our girl chat?  
>DM: I'm bored<br>JJ: Who are you rooming with?  
>DM: Some guy from money fraud<br>JJ:…..

Jennifer Jareau has signed off

EP: What the?

David Rossi has signed on

DR: Hotch is doing rounds- he's collecting all forms of technology

DM: Except yours?  
>EP: that's what happened to JJ?<br>PG: This is a form of team building! We're bonding through the power of technology!  
>DR: Sorry, boss' orders <p>

11:56:43pm  
><span>JJ: All in favor of calling Penelope Garcia the queen of everything, say aye  
>DM: Aye<br>EP: Aye  
>PG: Awwww... You shouldn't have...<br>JJ: Not that I don't love for you this, but is there any particular reason you brought 5 PDA's with built in WIFI on the trip?  
>PH: Emergency?<br>DM: Nice  
>EP: We can't get caught again or I think Hotch might actually kill us<br>JJ: Might actually?  
>PG: He WILL kill us<p>

David Rossi has signed on

DR: Run and get your affairs in order

Aaron Hotchner has signed on

AH: My cabin. Now.


	4. Chapter 4

July 18,2011- 10:57:52:pm ET- Quantico, Virginia

PG: Technology how I missed thee!  
>EP: I don't think I've ever missed Internet so much in my life<br>PG: I don't know how people did this before technology existed

EP: They survived, they were just bored

JJ: Hey, at least you didn't room with some woman that brought a bird calling book and whistle

EP: I roomed with Agent Haley Andrews, who's afraid of every little bug that exists on the planet

PG: That's what that screaming was…..

JJ: The screaming last night or the one the day we got screamed at into eternity?

PG: Ha, the screaming from last night

PG: I've never ever seen him that mad. His face was so red…

PG: I wonder how he's going to lock me, the queen of technology, out of the wifi

EP: I'm confused on that. So what exactly is our punishment?

PG: We get no wifi at work at all, conference room banishment for eternity with him checking on us regulary, and so much paperwork that we'll pretty much never leave work

JJ: Guys, was it worth it? I mean, look at us. We don't even call each other anymore

PG: What's your point, missy?

EP: That's the world of technology, Jay

PG: How was your drive home?

JJ: awkward  
>PG: What happened?<br>JJ: Hotch and Spence were watching Derek and I like hawks. Reid enjoyed it a little too much 

EP: We just slept the whole way home. No creepy staring from Rossi in our car  
>EP: It was either that or be bored <p>

PG: You guys want to go see a movie?  
>EP: What's with you jumping topics?<p>

JJ: Well later, cause of the infinity pile of paperwork that's due in the morning.

JJ: I feel like I just got assigned HW as form of punishment  
>EP: You felt like it was HW too? <p>

Derek Morgan has signed on

David Rossi has signed on 

DM: So mad...  
>EP: Join the club<br>DR: What's with you guys and IM?  
>EP: Don't even go there, mister! You are just as bad as we are<br>DR: I use it for good, not evil  
>PG: We do too- Hotch just sees our good as evil<br>DR: You're junkies 

EP: David Rossi, I'm insulted  
>JJ: I second that<br>PG: Why am I not insulted?  
>JJ: Cause you're Garcia<br>DR: Why don't you all say something to Hotch?  
>DM: cause I like my job<br>JJ:I second that  
>EP: third it<br>JJ: No such thing as third it 

Aaron Hotchner has signed on

Penelope Garcia has signed off

Emily Prentiss has signed off

Jennifer Jareau has signed off

Derek Morgan has signed off 

AH: What just happened?  
>DR: I think you put the fear of God in them, Aaron<p>

July 19,2011- 9:27:18pm- Chat Room #2456  
><span>PG: All present for the new BAU secret chat room, say "aye"  
>DM: aye<br>EP: aye  
>JJ: aye<br>PG: First order of business: does anyone else feel like Hotch was going to fire them at anytime today? 

DM: He's not going to fire us, Baby girl  
>PG: Are you sure? He gave me a dark, extremely pissed off look when he dropped off files this morning<br>EP: I saw that. I found it to be a mixture of the I'm disappointed, I'm angry, and his everyday look  
>JJ: Aren't they all the same?<br>PG: Kind of, yeah...  
>EP: Well, if anything happens- it was nice working with you guys<br>DM: He isn't going to fire us

PG: Oh my God, we are so fired

DM: Penelope! We are not going to be fired! I promise you that!

PG: Do you have any actual evidence of that?

DM: Don't make me hurt you

July 20,2011- 12:15:17pm- original BAU chatroom  
><span>AH: This chat room's been empty all morning  
>DR: Maybe they got the message<br>AH: No, I think you were right, Dave. Garcia looked like she was going to wet herself this morning when I dropped off files  
>AH: Is it because of this IMing thing?<p>

AH: Are they really afraid of me?  
>DR: I shall send out our best spy to figure that out<br>AH: Reid?  
>DR: Who better? <p>

July 20,2011- 8:15:27pm  
><span>EP: it's no fun to type from home  
>DM: We have no choice- we're on lockdown<br>PG: It's like Prohibition!  
>EP: Interesting analogy...?<br>EP: Did Reid seem a little stalkerish today? Hotch seemed a little down too…  
>PG: A little too scared to leave my bunker, so I don't know<p>

PG: Someone ask Rossi

EP: He's a spy for the enemy!

DM: What are we, two? I'll ask him

PG: Don't say I didn't warn you

DM: What do you mean?

EP: Come on, they're like best friends.

PG: We need to pull Rossi onto our side. Only on our side.

DM: Guys, this isn't war!

EP: It is

PG: This is about our ability to iM whenever we aren't being productive! This is war!

July 23,2011- 7:27:34pm

DM: Be on the lookout for Reid

EP: Why?

DM: You haven't noticed?

DM: The asking for help every ten seconds is him spying on you

EP: That's what that was…

David Rossi has signed on

EP: Aaahhh….how did you find us?

Jennifer Jareau has signed on

JJ: Dave?

JJ: Guys?

DR: I have my ways

DR: Ok, holding a secret place to IM doesn't mean giving your superior the cold shoulder

EP: I don't know what you speak of

DM: yeeahhh…..

JJ: It isn't the cold shoulder- it's the "he's so mad, he could fire us- SO, let's avoid him at all costs" shoulder

JJ: Was it Reid?

JJ: It had to be Reid….

DR: I think he might feel a little left out from the group

JJ: What?

EP: I'm sorry?

DM: That has got to be the most hypocrital thing that I have ever heard…He feels left out? After hunting us down on IM? Dave, do you know how HARD it is to spend 2 days with a guy from Money Fraud who brought his toy train collection on the trip with no entertainment?

EP: =] I thought I had it bad

DM: Well, everyone here is so close, but not so much with Hotch

Penelope Garcia has signed on

PG: JJ said I needed to get on here ASAP- what's up?

PG: Hotch feels left out?

PG: Awww….

EP: You feel pitty? We're banished to the conference room for forever and you feel PITTY?

PG: I do! I didn't want him to feel bad…..

DM: Rossi, he seriously feels bad?

EP: He does live in his office pretty much…wait, is there a connection to that?

DR: Maybe, maybe not?

Spencer Reid has signed on

JJ: I knew it was you!

SR: I calculated the probability of where each of you would run to via iM and eventually came across this chat room

DM: There are millions of chat rooms around the world and you just had to step into ours….

JJ: Casablanca?

EP: Derek ,I didn't know you had it in you

DM: It's a good flick!

PG: Please don't go into how you watched it with some honey on a Saturday night

DM: But you guys are allowed to rant about the horny Briton that lives downstairs from Emily?

EP: His name is Matthew

JJ: Awww….

PG: That's so hot…

DM: I need a "Guys only" chat room


	5. Chapter 5

_July 24,2011- Quantico, Virginia-8:51am_

_Currently logged in:_

_Emily Prentiss_

_Penelope Garcia_

EP: Wow, I have a feeling that today is going to be fun

PG: Is that sarcasm, missy?

EP: Damn straight it is

EP: We haven't had a case in three weeks! If I do one more sheet of paperwork, I'm going to go crazy

PG: Crazy normal or serial killer crazy?

EP: Depends on my mood

PG: Where are you?

EP: Getting coffee

EP: You?

PG: Up to no good…..

**Spencer Reid has logged on**

SR: You guys aren't mad at me, are you?

EP: For ratting us out or trying to start small talk in the conference room?

SR: What's wrong with that? We never really talk anymore

SR: It's hard when you won't talk to me, but when you guys had the wifi, you always iM'd Morgan who was down the hall instead of talking with me

EP: I'm sorry, Spence

EP: I'm still mad at you, though. You keep ratting us out to Hotch

SR: I'm just trying to follow the rules

EP: I understand that…

PG: That's so sweet, Em

SR: I'm still not understanding the appeal of this

EP: It's fun

PG: It's awesome

SR: Wait, Garcia, you always come in at 8:31 am on the dot. Where are you?

PG: I came in…..and went to get coffee on the ground floor. Hotch's wifi blackout only covers our floor….which I will get around….someday

_July 26,2011- Vancouver, Canada- 7:57pm-PT_

DM: Oh, Canada!

JJ: Don't you dare start singing via iM!

DM: Hey, I'm just happy. No flights leaving the city means an extra night in this sweet hotel with no restrictions because we're technically off work!

JJ: AKA iM freedom

DM: Not having as much fun with it anymore?

JJ: I do, it's just….I heard Spence's feeling were getting hurt and it's just thing is getting out of hand

**Emily Prentiss has logged on**

EP: Woohooo, let's go out …..somewhere within the hotel

EP: How about the pool?

JJ: I say the bar

DM: I'm in. I need to practice my game in Canada

JJ: Eh, Lines like that prove that you do need to practice!

EP: We need a designated walker

JJ: A What?

EP: Someone who'll make sure the other two don't do something stupid

EP: Can't be a designated drive since we aren't driving…

DM: So mainly to keep an eye on you?

EP: Don't make me shoot you

**David Rossi has signed on**

JJ: Here to spy on us, Dave?

DR: I come in good terms. We're all going out to dinner- boss' orders.

JJ: Are you acting as Hotch's liaison to the rest of the team?

JJ: Is that an invitation or an order?

DR: A friendly suggestion backed up by force

DR: It'll be good for the team. There are too many battle lines going between the team

DM: Too many? Ok, let's see there's me, Garcia, Prentiss, and JJ against Hotch

DM: You and Reid are kind of against Garcia, Prentiss, me, and JJ 'cause you guys spy on us.

DM: Reid is neutral..borderline on Hotch's side

DM: And you- you are on Hotch's side serving as liaison and spy extraordinaire

DR: Spy extraordinaire…I like it

EP: Only 2 battle lines. See, we're ok.

JJ: It's going to be awkward

DR: So, let's go make things not awkward. I expect you all to behave

EP: Is this you or Hotch talking?

DM: He's sitting next to you, isn't he?

DR: I have no idea what you speak of

EP: Liar!

JJ: Liar! Dave, even via the internet I can see that you're lying

DM: Why couldn't he come over or CALL like he's been pushing for?

DR: I don't know! Ask him yourselves!

_July 29,2011- Quantico, Virginia-6:54:39pm-EST_

PG: Emergency Meeting! Emergency meeting!

DM: We know, that's why we're on, Penn.

PG: A Work Relationship Seminar? Who's the idiot that came up with that?

DM: Strauss

JJ: So what are we doing?

PG: We sit down with another team member in front of a psychologist and he monitors for inappropriate behavior. Our team is apparently bad….

JJ: And whose fault is that?

PG: Casper's

JJ: What's with you and Casper?

DM: Check the email- we already got partners.

EP: Oh Dear God. I got Reid

JJ: Not that bad. He'll just talk…and talk…..your session should fly by

PG: Who got Captain Kill Joy?

DM: Nice! Hotch will kill you if he saw that you called him that

PG: Mon Cherie, that doesn't scare me...that much

JJ:...I got Hotch

PG: Aww, that's too bad! I got Rossi

DN: I also got Hotch. This should be interesting…..

PG: Be nice

JJ: Wait, he gets a 'be nice' and I pretty much get a 'sucks to be you?'

PG: Sorry Dear, that's just the way it is

_August 2,2011- Quantico, Virginia- 4:45:56pm_

PG: Whoohooo! I dare Strauss to throw another stupid meeting at us! I dare her!

DM: I can see your meeting went well

PG: Easier than easy!

DM: I'm glad

PG: Did you behave?

DM: Of Course

PG: If I ask JJ, will she agree?

DM: Um…yes?

_August 3,2011- 9:45:24am-Washington, D.C_

DM: Kid, I seriously need to teach you how to dance

SR: I know how to dance…

DM: Not what I saw last night

**Emily Prentiss has logged in**

EP: Reid, you can't dance

SR: Hey, I'm not accustomed to certain social scenarios like going to a club and dancing!

DM: Have you ever danced with a girl?

SR: Yes, I have…..and she thought I was very good

DM: I see…..

EP: Derek, you know you aren't really much better

**Penelope Garcia has logged**

PG: Em, .. My dark chocolate dances like a god

EP: Are you sure about that?

PG: I'm sure as my bright and beautiful fabulous self can be

PG: You're just jealous

EP: Am not. I have nothing to be jealous about- I can actually dance.

DM: Oh, ouch…


	6. Chapter 6

August 5,2011- 8:34:51pm-Quantico, Virginia

EP: Alright, with the impending three day weekend, I say we do something

DM: Ok, like what?

PG: Atlantic City!

EP: Let's do it!

DM: I'm in

PG: just asked JJ and she's in

DM: Do we invite Reid, Rossi, and Hotch?

EP: Yes

DM: Five bucks says Hotch and Reid are out

EP: Will you stop making unfair bets?

David Rossi has logged on

DR: A Trip to Atlantic City? Nice-I'm in

EP: I just texted Reid….who's surprisingly in

EP: Maybe while we're there, we can teach Morgan and Reid how to dance

PG: Who invites boss-man?

EP: Rossi

DM: It's all you, man

DR: Aaron doesn't bite, you know…

EP: Of course not, he just gives glares and disapproving frowns

DR: fine, I'll ask. Give me a second

PG: On a separate matter, who'll drive?

PG: Besides Derek

DM: Hey, it was one little incident

PG: 180 miles in not little, boo

DR: Aaron's out because of Jack

EP: An almost full house! And no, Derek, you cannot drive

DM: Look, I'm going to drive us down there and not get lost and then what are you going to say?

EP: I'll wake up and realize that you not getting lost was only a dream

August 7,2011-12:54:23pm- Baltimore, MD

JJ: Where are you guys? Did you get lost again?

EP: No, we just passed the exit ramp to Newark, Delaware

JJ: How did you guys end up- what, 60 miles ahead of us?

JJ: According to Reid, 58.6

EP: Derek's trying to kill me. We've been booking ever since Baltimore

JJ: Wow, are you two trying to get banned from driving together outside of work as well?

EP: Hey, I'm not driving so I'm in the clear

August 8,2011- 9:57:28am- Atlantic City, NJ

DM: Morning

EP: It is not a good morning! I feel like crap

DM: I told you not to trust Penelope with the tequila

EP: I officially hate Atlantic City…..

EP: What are you doing?

DM: I am chilling in the Jacuzzi with some very nice ladies from New York

EP: Knew you couldn't go one day with meeting some ladies

EP: have you heard from Hotch?

DM: Emily, does Hotch ever contact us on holiday, let alone the weekend?

EP: I was just curious. I feel kind of bad that he's there and we're all here having fun

David Rossi has logged on

Spencer Reid has logged on

SR: Morning

DR: Prentiss, you hung over?

EP: Oh, I hate you so much right now

DM: Kid, for someone who's a nerd, you sure do know how to play poker. How much did you win last night?

SR: $1200. It was a nice area for me to review and use my mathematical knowledge in context.

DM: The money's always nice too

EP: Rossi, have you heard from Hotch?

DR: Why are you asking me? Again, he doesn't bite

EP: I'm just worried and feel guilty for leaving him behind

DM: Since we have work tomorrow, you can talk to him them

DR: Or call…

EP: Tomorrow works for me. We'll do it together- I'll tell Penn and JJ

DR: Or you could call right now. He seriously doesn't bite…..

August 10,2011-7:57:45pm- Quantico, Virginia

PG: Ok, the point of checking on Hotch today was not to blurt out and ask, " Are you ok?" in the bullpen

EP: I was surprised it didn't come out of your mouth

PG: Hey, I am kind and warm, but not stupid

JJ: The look on his face was classic

JJ: I'm guessing the look on our faces was even more classic

EP: That was THE most awkward 5 minutes of my life. I'm going to kill Morgan for that…

Derek Morgan has signed on

EP: Great going, genius!

DM: Hey, I was sick of all the awkward tension. It could affect us on a case- I had to ask!

JJ: How about "Hey, Hotch. Everything going ok?" IN A CORNER or an OFFICE, not in the middle of the bullpen

EP: Do you realize how awkward it's going to be at work tomorrow?

PG: Tonight

JJ: What?

PG: I just got a case, sent it to Hotch, and he said that we are going to take it. We're going to New Mexico, ladies

PG: And Derek

DM: Thank you for remembering me, Baby girl

PG: With pleasure

August 12,2011- 4:34:34pm- Quantico, Virginia

EP: So fiesta at 10?

PG: I'm in

JJ: I'm in

DM: Me too

SR: Can I join you guys?

DR: Me too?

JJ: Awww….of course you can Dave

JJ: Spence, let me think

JJ:

JJ:

JJ:

EP: JJ, stop doing that!

JJ: =] Spence, you may join us

Aaron Hotchner has signed on

DM: Dave!

JJ: You little traitor!

EP: Never ever trusting you again

DR: Ever thought that Hotch may have found this chat room out all by his lonesome?

EP: Reid told you, didn't he?

AH: Yes

EP: Reid!

DM: Reiddd…..why would you do this? Do you enjoy us being angry with you?

SR: I was just doing the righ-

August 13 ,2011-3:45:35pm-Quantico, Virginia

PG: Anyone thankful for the power outage?

EP: Yes, I felt a very awkward moment coming

JJ: Yes, but I have been starting to feel bad

EP: We haven't done anything wrong…

JJ: Maybe we shouldn't run in fear at the sight of Hotch OUTSIDE of work

EP: That could work

PG: I'm still scared

PG: Crap

PG: Another case, ladies. We're going back to New Mexico

JJ: We just got back from there!

EP: I think all the serial killers in that state are killing now all at the same time on purpose!

6:56:17pm 

EP: AHHHH! Stupid jet- it doesn't break down for five years EVER, but it chooses now?

JJ: How's the back of the plane?

EP: Don't talk…..

DM: How's economy, ladies?

JJ: I'm not talking to you! You, Rossi, and Hotch are in business!

EP: Are you iMing while sitting next to Hotch?

PG: You brave, brave man…..

DM: Aren't you supposed to be running priors for the suspect right now?

PG: I am, but I can double task, baby boy

DM: Any luck?

PG: No, he's clean as a whistle. However, he did disappear off the radar from 2002-2005: he completely disappeared. No credit card, his driver's license expired during the period, he sold his house, ect.- you name what one does to get away, he did it

EP: Any family members that show up suspicious?

PG: The suspect's mother did the same thing back in 1983-1985. Maybe a family tradition- you know, falling off the face of the Earth for a few years? It seems like they did it about the same age as well.

EP: That's weird; Garcia, can you check if anyone related to the suspect has any religious, historical, or cult affiliation- there was a weird drawing on each victim's back

JJ: I was thinking the same thing. I asked Reid and he said that it mirrored an Mayan hieroglyphic

JJ: Let's invite the whole team onto iM- this is really efficient without freaking out the other passengers

JJ: Like Reid did at the beginning of the flight

EP: That's what that crying child was…

August 14,2011- 9:34:11pm-Quantico, Virginia

EP: Whoohoo! Nice, peaceful quick case!

JJ: Did we even need to get off the plane?

DM: Gotta go. BTW, Hotch is being anal about the IM thing again.

Derek Morgan has signed off

JJ: I thought we were in the clear for that


	7. Chapter 7

August 16,2011- 6:45:23am

DM: I'm calling another emergency meeting!

EP: We know!

JJ: Next time let's shoot for NOT 6:45 in the morning

DM: I might kill Spence

DM: Our computers are gone

EP: what?

EP: Why are you at work at 6:45am?

DM: Working out

JJ: At 645am?

JJ: At work?

JJ: Our computers?

JJ: What the hell is going on?

DM: Spence was talking about the iMing thing, Strauss overheard, and now we have no computers

JJ: What?

DM: It was either that or we all get fired. Hotch came up with the computer idea

JJ: Adding both to my hitlist

DM: You have a hitlist? I'm so proud….

EP: That's Sophie's Choice! No computers or no job….

EP: Are we still banned to the conference room?

DM: Yep- I think it's forever

JJ: How are you iMing if you're at work?

Penelope Garcia has signed on

PG: Sorry I'm late. I was planning how to kill my little boy wonder

EP: So you heard about the computers?

PG: Yes and I have one better! I have to monitored by some puny probationary agent for a month so I don't lose track of what I'm doing…..

JJ: Oh no….

PG: I know

PG: Wait, what the?

EP: What are you two talking about?

EP: Ugghhh…..

DM: ?

DM: Oh, that is it! Hotch wants three weeks of paperwork due by tonight? He has officially lost his damn mind!

EP: 7am call time? When was he planning on calling and telling us? 6:59?

JJ: I think this has Strauss written all over it

PG: I just got the call from Hotch. Yep, work in fifteen minutes.

DM: I've had it! Someone has better warm Hotch because I'm about to go ballistic on him, Rossi, and Reid!

PG: Baby boo, I'll be backing you up

EP: Who'll cover bail?

JJ: I'll do that

EP: I guess I'll create the escape plan to Mexico

JJ: Rio de Janerio

JJ: Hey, after we kill 3 federal agents, we need to go somewhere that isn't NEXT DOOOR to the United States!

EP: Rio de Janerio is it! Anyone speak Portuguese?

DM: Reid, but one of us can beat it out of him right before we kill him

EP: Sounds good.

1:56:23pm

EP: Derek, dark glares is not going ballistic

DM: Hey, even I was a little afraid of the look on Hotch's face.

JJ: You mean the "you come near me and I'll fire you" look?

EP: I thought it was a "you come near me and I'll shoot you" look

David Rossi has signed on

JJ: Not invited to our club!

DR: I come on peaceful terms

Aaron Hotchner has signed on

Penelope Garcia has signed on

Spencer Reid has signed on

PG: I picked the wrong time to come on!

AH: Penelope, don't you dare leave

PG: Yes, sir

AH: We all need to have a talk. I had to bend over backwards to protect our jobs because of this iMing thing. It's out of control- our team is being pulled apart and it is becoming a major distraction. So we need to figure this out immediately.

EP: Yes, sir

SR: Yes, sir

JJ: Yes, sir

DM: Yes, sir

AH: Did you all plan that response?

EP: No, sir

SR: I'm barely on here!

AH: It's the four Musketeers that I'm speaking to, Reid

JJ: No, we didn't

DR: Aaron, I propose a space of freedom to say whatever one wants to say

AH: Watching HGTV and Lifetime again, Dave?

EP: Oooh, burned!

JJ: HGTV? I love that channel- especially this Old House

DR: Oh, so you want to play that game, Aaron? You really want to go there?

DM: Hotch, how do you know this?

AH: Dave and I were working on a case in Connecticut many years ago. I passed by his room and overhead him watching some show about creating the perfect garden

DR: I'm warning you, Aaron

SR: Males are statistically shown to have more gardens than society lets on.

DR: Thank you, Spencer. I have a small Japanese garden

JJ: Small?

EP: Rossi, we all know that's a lie

DR: Alright, so as I'm being criticized for having garden, shall we take a look at the man who cried at the end of Up as he watched it with Jack?

EP: Oh my GOD

DM: I'm seeing you in a whole new light, man

JJ: Hotch, I don't know what to say. I didn't know you had it in you

PG: Awww….that's so sweet. I cried as well….

AH: Dave, you are so dead….

PG: Awww…Hotch, it's ok to cry

JJ: She's right you know

DM: You seriously cried at the end of Up?

PG: As oppose to you jumping up in fear at the end of Pet Cemetery?

DR: Morgan, you walked into that one

AH: …I cried because it reminded me of Haley

PG: Awwww…now you're going to make me cry

JJ: That's so sweet

JJ: Two agents just gave me a weird look

AH: Why?

JJ: Because I'm tearing up

DR: See, my little ones. The boss does have a heart…..

AH: That was a concern?

DM: Yeah….a little

AH: What do you expect me to do?

JJ: Not talking about giggling or doing cartwheels down the ramp, but especially with this iM thing

EP: Jay! Why did you bring that up? We were so distracted by it!

JJ: I'm sorry!

JJ: Really sorry!

PG: Ur on probation

JJ: Please no text lingo, Penn

AH: Do you all always get this distracted on iM?

DR: Coming from the man who just spent the last ten minutes spilling about my love for HGTV….

SR: Um

EP: Awww…

AH: I never said that you loved HGTV

DM: This just keeps getting better and better

DR: Alright, let's figure this out

AH: Wait…where are you guys?

JJ: Bathroom on my phone

EP: Internet café across the street

DM: Shooting range via phone

SR: Dave's office via phone

JJ: Um, why?

SR: Refuge

AH: From Strauss?

SR: The entire team…every time I'm on here, someone's trying to kill me!

EP: Damn, he figured out about the hit list

SR: Hit list?

DR: Guys, focus on the task at hand. What are we going to do about this iM thing?


	8. Chapter 8

August 16,2011- Quantico, Virginia- 2:25:27pm

Currently Logged in:

Penelope Garcia

Aaron Hotchner

Derek Morgan

Jennifer Jeareau

David Rossi

Emily Prentiss

Spencer Reid

PG: I say we continue as usual

AH: No, Garcia. That isn't an option! You all are way too distracted by this!

EP: Am not

SR: You were complaining like twenty minutes ago that you have so much paperwork!

SR: As you were iMing Derek!

EP: Spencer, Spence, Spence. And you wonder why everyone wants to kill you on iM

AH: Alright, here are the new rules. No iMing whatsoever during cases. I don't care if half of you get lost and ended up in Mexico or in the middle of nowhere and you want to chat. Plane's off limits as well.

DM: Ahhhhhh, come on Hotch!

AH: Going to cases, you should be working. Coming back, you should be resting.

AH: And how is it so hard to walk over and say hi?

PG: Do you know how far it is to walk from my room to the bullpen? Also, I don't even get to come with you guys on half of the cases!

DR: You mean the ten second walk? And when do you ever want us to come over and say hi?

AH: You should be preparing for the case, doing paperwork, or getting some rest, Penelope, not iMing

AH: When at work, you can iM each other only during lunch and breaks AFTER SPEAKING with me. If I catch you breaking these rules, you and I will be having a long chat.

DR: Sounds reasonable

DM: Coming from the boss' best friend…..

DR: I don't get special treatment because I've known Aaron for years

EP: Yes, you do

PG: Oh, you so do

DM: Yes, you do- you pretty much have it made here because of Hotch!

AH: Hey, I'm still on here!

DM: Yeah…..anyway, so we have to pretty much ask for permission? Like children?

AH: Take it or leave it

PG: Fine

EP: Fine

DM: Fine. What about our computers and us being stuck in the conference room?

AH: Still stands. Now get back to work.

**Aaron Hotchner has signed off**

**David Rossi has signed off**

PG: What?

EP: Was that done on purpose? Is he coming back on?

JJ: That's like a cliffhanger!

EP: That's…that's got to be a trick!

DM:Did Rossi just randomly log off or was that on purpose?

SR: Hotch just walked into Rossi's office and told me to tell you all that you guys have ten minutes to get back to the bullpen or you're in trouble

PG: Oh, he needs to pay

DM: Something that allows us back to our desks and offices! Something big without us getting fired!

EP: Yeah- wait, shouldn't we plan our revenge off of iM?

JJ: Hotch and Rossi aren't here so we should be ok…..

EP: Reid….

SR: Yes?

EP: Would you like to re- earn your way back into our good graces?

SR: I'm not going to be a spy for you guys! And are you guys actually coming?

PG: Spy? No, think of it as a …..way to repay us for all the times you got us in trouble

SR: YOU guys got YOURSELVES in trouble. I did nothing

JJ: Please Spence!

EP: I'll be your best friend!

SR: You already are

PG: Awww, so are you in?

SR: Yeah I'm in

7:59pm- Quantico, Virginia

Currently logged in:

Emily Prentiss

Penelope Garcia

Jennifer Jareau

PG: I just found something awesome!

EP: It better be important because my sexy neighbor Matthew just invited me for coffee!

PG: Yea! You lucky girl!

JJ: Penelope, focus!

PG: Oh, yeah-so I was bored and I found something fabulous about iM

EP: Really? Alright, I'm going to go on my coffee date

PG: Wait, so I was aimlessly looking at our iM stats-you know how long each person is on, how they log on, what they talk about….

JJ: Is that illegal?

PG: Not if you tell anyone

JJ: So you were bored and aimlessly looking in other's people's business

PG: Yes, my dear, I was snooping. Guess who used iM the most in the past three weeks?

EP: There is a gorgeous hunk waiting for me to get coffee. You have ten seconds to wow me

JJ: Most time- It has to be Emily

EP: Derek's just as bad as I am

EP: nope, scratch that. I believe it's you, Penn

PG: Wrong, wrong, and wrong. The winner is our fearless leader, SSA Hotchner.

EP: Wow…I guess coffee can wait.

JJ: Seriously? He outdid all of us?

JJ: I'm texting Morgan and Reid to get on here

PG: Yes, the iM hunter/hater of the group uses it the most! Second place for most use goes to Miss Prentiss with a whole lot of iMs to Matthew, her smoking hot neighbor downstairs. I take third because I Skype more than I iM. Tall, dark, and smoking with a gun ties with our ass kicking blonde tie for fourth. The Italian steed comes in fifth and the little genius that could comes in last place.

**Derek Morgan has logged on**

DM: Wow, I can't believe it. Baby girl, have I ever told you that I love you?

PG: Everyday, boo

DM: That little hypocrite! How bad is Hotch on iM?

PG: Well in terms of time, here's how it lays out

PG: Reid-40 minutes

PG: Rossi- 4 hours 51 min

PG: JJ and Derek-6 hours 12 minutes

PG: myself-6 hours and 45 minutes

PG: Emily-7 hours and 22 minutes

PG: Hotch-12 hours and 45 minutes. I say we blackmail Hotch into getting our stuff back

DM: We can't just walk into his office and lay it out to him. We have to make him squirm

EP: Serial killers don't even make Hotch squirm. What makes you think we can?

DM: Alright, at least make an eye twitch or something

PG: Hold on there, that's not even the juiciest part. He iMs at work a lot more than we think. He ALSO iMs a Commander Jessica Navin who is currently stationed in Kuwait right now. She's pretty, has no kids, and has been iMing Hotch since March. Boss man's got a secret girlfriend!

DM: Oh wow

EP: This isn't just get our stuff back good, this is get a raise or extended vacations good!

**Spencer Reid has logged on**

SR: Wow

PG: Do not say a word to Hotch or Rossi about this or bad things will happen to you, Spencer

SR: Ok, not a word. I'm surprised at this- he isn't the type to contradict his own orders

DM: Seriously? He does it all the time! Where have you been, kid?

EP: Guys, what if Hotch comes on and sees our conversation?

PG: Taken care of. Thanks to a few…..things, he won't be able to log onto this chat room until we all have logged off and I have erased any traces of this conversation

JJ: A few things? That explains how you got on so many computer watch lists

PG: Hey! It was done for the greater good! So everyone in for Operation Payback to get our stuff back without getting fired?

JJ: Too long of a name, but I'm in

EP: Me too

DM: I'm in. This is going to be fun.

SR: I'm in

JJ: Wait, what about Rossi?

PG: He'll be dealt with later…..

EP: Legally or illegally?

PG: We'll see


	9. Chapter 9

_August 17,2011- 7:54:43pm- Quantico, Virginia_

_Currently Logged in:_

_Jennifer Jareau_

_Penelope Garcia_

JJ: So Will was going to carry Henry the entire day through the park

PG: Is there a point to this story?

JJ: Hey, you asked!

PG: Yes! I asked to serve as a distraction, side chatter if you could call it, while I complete the final touches of the master grand revenge plan

JJ: I didn't get the memo about what it was. What is it?

PG: Hold your horses, my dear!

PG: Alright, the plan goes into effect...now

JJ: Penelope…..what are you doing?

PG: And done. I took Hotch's computer hostage virtually. It's completely frozen until I say so and switch it back. I also have the screen playing elevator music with the words- Return our stuff or the computer gets it on the screen. He can't even turn it off unless he lets it die.

PG: Or until he finds me to fix it and I won't do it without a confession of his iM...addiction

JJ:

JJ:

JJ: Or until he screams bloody murder from his office.

JJ: Oh God, he's pissed!

PG: What?

JJ:

PG: JJ?

JJ:

JJ:

JJ: Run!

PG: What do you mean?

JJ: Just grab something and go! Emily and Derek are already on the elevator! I'm hiding in the bathroom- I don't even know if Reid made it out alive! Are you sure freezing it is all you did?

PG: Yeah, I swear! Ok, I'm going to run for it!

JJ: Good luck!

_7:56:27 pm-Washington D.C_

_Derek Morgan_

_Penelope Garcia_

_Emily Prentiss_

_Jennifer Jareau_

DM: Ok, what the hell happened today? We were just working and then all of a sudden, Hotch steps out of his office and screames, "What did you all do to my computer?" I have never seen him so mad!

EP: I looked up and I was pretty sure Hotch was going to shoot all of us! That's when we took off! Penelope, what did you do?

PG: I froze his computer like we talked about, guys!

PG: And taunted him about our computers and the conference room...But that's it!

**Spencer Reid has logged on**

PG: Spencer, did you make it out alive?

SR: No

DM: Kid, you alright?

SR: I didn't even get to explain the point of the prank...

PG: I caught a glimpse of Hotch's face. It was so red...

SR: Oh, Hotch also wants us on all here at 8 for a team meeting.

JJ: Online, hmm. It's better than a phone call filled with screaming or him showing up at our front doors

SR: He just kept yelling and yelling...

PG: Aww, did boss man traumatize you?

SR: A little. It was like he taking out unrelated anger on me as well.

JJ: Did you just do profile Hotch?

SR: I had to! He was just so angry!

EP: All we did was mess with his computer. I think he's being overdramatic.

EP: We've done way worse...

EP: Derek...

DM: You all aren't going to let the ambulance thing go, are you?

PG: You drove an ambulance with a bomb in it! I'm going to be on you for that for the rest of your natural life.

**David Rossi has logged on**

DR: Do you all have some sort of a death wish?

DM: Death wish? What do you mean a death wish? You know that Hotch is taking this way out of proportions!

DR: You may be right, but out of all the times to play a trick on him, today was not the day

DM: What do you mean today was not the day, Rossi?

DR: Why don't you ask him yourselves?

PG: Rossi, we had to do it! He out does us in iM, but spends a good chunk of his time chasing us off it!

DM: Why does he get to bend his own rules?

DR: Why are you all afraid to ask Hotch simple questions like these?

EP: For the hundredth time, Dave, we'd like our jobs still be there in the morning. Ok, it's 8- he should be logging on right about now

**Aaron Hotchner has signed on**

AH: You have five seconds to explain yourselves

SR:

PG:

JJ:

EP:

DM:

DR: Guys...say something

AH: Two seconds

SR: Um…sir, we did it as just a prank

DM: Sir? Really, kid?

EP: Hotch, it was just a simple prank! We did it because you're being…..unreasonable

DR: Little ones, you shouldn't be afraid of Hotch. You have the safety of the computer right now. Say what's on your mind

AH: Are you all…afraid of me?

SR: You were just so angry

PG: There's a reason that we kind of ran! Bad day?

AH: You all didn't answer my question

EP: Normally, no

DM: Nope…unless our jobs are on the line

JJ: No

AH: Ok as my friends, explain to me why you all couldn't have talked to me about this?

DM: We did

PG: We know about your excessive iM use!

DM: Baby girl, what about making him squirm?

PG: Well, we tried that and it didn't work out so well

AH: I see and you found out how, Penelope? Did you invade my computer?

PG: Kind of, but you can't turn this on me! You iM more than all of us and while at work!

AH: Yes, I do iM and I apologize for my attitude towards you all in regards of the iM issue. I also would like to apologize greatly for my behavior today. The stress of Strauss, balancing six different departments, Jack acting out at school, and a friend's extended deployment overseas…..the prank was just one more thing and it pushed me over the edge

JJ: Friend? Don't you mean "your girlfriend"?

AH: Yes….my girlfriend Jessica who's in Kuwait. Her deployment is extended until January instead of September

EP: Whoa…..this is Hotch, right?

JJ: We usually don't get that much information out of you in five minutes. It's usually by luck

AH: And I'll try to change that

DM: Sweet. So in regards to the conference room and wifi and computer ban?

AH: Consider it over

PG: Yes!Yes!The war is over!

AH: War?

PG: Oh, yeah. It was war.

AH :I see. So you may iM during breaks and lunch only, no permission needed. On cases, you may iM in the hotel room and on the plane ride back. I should have realized that you all can get your job done and still iM . I also realized that it allowed me to connect with you guys more than ever

PG: Aww….sir, why do you always say things that make me want to cry?

JJ: That's sweet, Hotch.

EP:=]

AH: So are we all ok?

EP: Yep

DM: Yeah

SR: Yep

PG: Of course, my liege!

DR: I'm glad everyone is at peace.

AH: Alright, I'll see you all tomorrow at 9

DM: Going to talk to Jessica? =]

AH: ….Yes. Don't make me regret telling you about her

PG: Awww!

AH: Oh, before I go. Penelope, we need to speak about your snooping in the morning

PG: Snooping? I call it…..keeping an eye on my people

DM: Or to everyone else- snooping.


	10. Chapter 10

_August 24, 2011- Washington D.C-3:37:35am_

_Currently logged in_

_Aaron Hotchner_

_Emily Prentiss_

AH: Prentiss?

EP: Two things- you CAN use my first name outside of work and number two, why are you on here at 3 in the morning?

AH: I was talking to Jessica and then decided to see if anyone was on. Why are you on here at three in the morning?

EP: Couldn't sleep

EP: Online scrabble got boring

AH: Is it because Cheetobreath isn't on?

EP: Nah….she isn't too much fun to play with anymore. I beat Miss Jareau so many times while in Paris

AH: I see. We can play

EP: We could.

**Jennifer Jareau has logged on**

JJ: You did not beat me that many times while you were in Paris. Maybe four times…..

EP: Don't you mean forty?

AH: JJ, why are you on here?

JJ: Couldn't sleep. The case from last week is taking a toll on me. The little boy looked so much like my son that I can't sleep. I'm in my den on the laptop

AH: I'm sorry that you can't sleep.

JJ: Thanks Hotch. You guys doing Scrabble? Emily's an easy win, Hotch,

EP: Liar! She's an easy win!

AH: Alright, let's start a game.

EP: You're going down

AH: Nope

EP: Do you know how to trash talk?

AH: I don't trash talk. I just win

JJ: Ouch!

EP: ok, we'll see who wins, Aaron

AH: Did you just use my first name?

EP: It's not like it's illegal

EP: Right?

JJ: I thought it was

AH: Seriously?

AH: ok, Emily, if you win- all of you can use my first name in the office with free range. If I win, you room with Reid for the next three cases

JJ: You guys make it seem like he's terrible

AH: He talks in his sleep, JJ. He just keeps going and going like the battery bunny…

JJ: Well, then two things- don't let Reid have six cups of coffee in one day and two, don't let Reid have six cups of coffee in one day!

AH: I can't control you guys like that. If I could, Morgan would be on a leash.

EP: =]

EP: I wonder if he keeps count on how many doors he's kicked down, unsubs he's leaped onto, ridiculously dangerous things he's attempted…

AH: Hence, the leash.

EP: Let's play the game! Before I get sleepy!

_9:54:34am_

EP: Who gets an 118 point word in Scrabble?

JJ: He destroyed you, I see.

EP: JJ, one hundred eighteen points is

EP: Why's Strauss here?

**Penelope Garcia has signed in**

PG: Relax my little gun wielding bad asses; Strauss is not here for the iM issue. Our head honcho cleared that yesterday

EP: She looks pissed.

EP: Are we in trouble again?

JJ: With Strauss, when are we not?

**Aaron Hotchner has logged on**

AH: get off of iM immediately

JJ: What?

AH: Just do it

**Aaron Hotchner has logged off**

EP: Yep, I think we're in trouble

JJ: You think?

_8:56:34pm_

_Currently Logged in:_

_1. David Rossi_

_2. Penelope Garcia_

_3. Aaron Hotchner_

_4. Jennifer Jareau_

_5. Derek Morgan_

_6. Emily Prentiss_

_7. Spencer Reid_

EP: What happened today? How much trouble are we in?

EP: Is it world-ending?

DM: You're way too excited for this, Prentiss

EP: Am not, So are we still free to iM, Hotch?

DR: Addict.

EP: Gr$%!

DR: What was that supposed to be?

EP: Me screaming at you

AH: Let's focus

AH: I know that we agreed on these iM rules, but I advise all of you to not look so happy while you're on it.

AH: People are getting suspicious

JJ: Wait, you advise us? You're just saying that since if we get in trouble again, you're in the clear because of your office!

AH: No, I'm saying this as your boss

DR: JJ, he's lying. It is because we have the comfort of an office. Should have kept yours before leaving.

JJ: I had no choice!

JJ: Have you ever been cornered by Strauss?

JJ: We should send out unsubs against her. They'd surrender in a heartbeat

DR: We'd be out of a job

SR: Technically, no. It'd be physically impossible for her to stop every serial killer in the country

PG: It wasn't a literal statement, my little genius

AH: Ok, so keep your composure. Alright? It's a little weird for people to talking about a serial killer than giggling at their computer ten minutes later

DM: You all can just migrate to my office if you want to laugh at something.

AH: Mine is off limits

JJ: Yours was an option?

DR: Mine is free to all except SSA Spencer Reid, who still owes me twenty bucks. No payment, no shelter.

SR: I'll get it to you, Rossi. I thought you did it out of the kindness of your heart!

JJ: What happened?

SR: I needed a twenty for this thing I wanted to get while we were in New Orleans last week . Rossi loaned me the twenty that I was short.

EP: You're worth millions and you're harassing Reid over twenty bucks?

DR: Yes

DR: It's so easy

DR: I can't resist. Sorry, kid

SR: It's alright. At least you weren't trying to kill me on iM

DR: Yeah…=]

_August 31, 2011-5:54:21 pm- Quantico, Virginia_

_Currently logged in:_

_Derek Morgan_

_Jennifer Jareau_

_Penelope Garcia_

_Spencer Reid_

_David Rossi_

DM: What are you doing, Reid?

SR: Testing a theory of mine

DM: You're a dork, kid

DR: Took the words right out of my mouth

JJ: I think I might die from paperwork

PG: Hey, I have your old job and my job as well, so no complaining!

**Aaron Hotchner has signed on**

AH: I see everyone has the same question that I have

SR: What's that?

AH: Question of what exactly you're doing with a pile of paperclips and soda

**Emily Prentiss has signed on**

EP: Hotch, if I strangle Reid for getting me wet, which I feel that he's going to do, am I liable for murder 1 or murder 2?

_Prentiss glanced up from the computer screen and looked over to Hotch's office window. She could see him scribble something on a pad and turn back to his laptop. He peered into the screen before a large grin appeared on his face. Prentiss smiled and thought, Good to see you happy, Hotch….._

_After shooting a glare to Reid, she turned back to her screen to see:_

AH: Murder 1, but since it's Reid, they may let you walk

SR: Hey!

DR: I was thinking they might actually give a parade instead of that

SR: Hey! Why is everyone trying to kill me on iM?

PG: It's out of love, Spence.

PG: Well, most of it…..

SR: What's that supposed to mean?

PG: Mwhaa….

DM: Ooh, you're in trouble…..

**-The End**


End file.
